Mental Health,  Personal Growth

How To Deal With Shameless People

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How do you deal with shameless people?

Admit it! We like to be the kind of person who has no shame in anything. We like to adopt the “I don’t care attitude” even once in a while. However, there are people who really no shame in themselves that pushes other people to the brink of anger or madness. 

Ever heard the news about the Chinese ticket seller who scolds a woman for cutting the queue? I admired the male ticket seller for refusing to sell the tickets if she is not in line with the rest of the people. The lady was persistent in getting the ticket from the same booth even though there were other booths available.

The man was telling her off to go inline but she was persistent to the point of being shameless. The man even told her that she has no respect for herself and other people. She even agreed to everything he said to him.

Being shameless does not mean you have to be the bad guy, you can also be a good or hilarious guy. Being shameless does not mean you have to act unashamed. There are things that make you feel shameless which could be bringing a fifty Shades of Grey book, or getting yourself drunk at a wedding.

There are other things that make you feel even more shameless. This could be shouting angrily in public or just like what the other woman did to the ticket seller. However, if you encounter shameless people, we are quite tempted to react to them which can only escalate things further.

To avoid dealing with shameless people in that kind of manner, here are (5) five ways to help you deal with them:

How To Deal With Shameless People

1.) Stay polite.

No matter how rude or insolent they are to you especially if you both are in public, always remain polite to them. You can be as direct as you can be towards them but always remain courteous.

If they shout at you, just let them be as they are also feeling stressed. Place aside your ego and step into their shoes. There are just like us have gone through a lot. Maybe they have certain problems in their home, work or school that you may not know.

2.) Set boundaries.

Most of the time, shameless people tend to step into your boundaries without any intention. You can be as direct as you can towards them by drawing the line or reminding them about your boundaries. 

It might be difficult to set limitations with shameless people but you still have to communicate with them in a clear and polite way. If they don’t respect your boundaries, you can enforce it because you also have to take care of yourself.

3.) Don’t embarrass them.

As much as you try to hold on to your anger, disappointed or irritation, shaming or embarrassing them in public can only show and prove to others and yourself that you have stepped down their level. You can be a little authoritative in an understanding manner because just like you they are also having a bad day. Otherwise, things will escalate and it might end into something worse.

4.) Stay level-headed.

You have to stay calm despite feeling pressured over these people. Their shameless behavior can sometimes get to you but take a deep breath and don’t engage with them especially if you also feel stressed.

Listen to them first before you react. Don’t ever blow up in anger in front of them. Instead of lashing out to them, you have to take a deep breath and stay calm. Eventually, they will be able to calm themselves when they see you staying calm in the situation.

5.) Project humble confidence.

Sometimes shameless people don’t know what they are doing but by projecting humble confidence, they will feel your humility and it can let their guard or defenses down especially if you show that you are understanding towards them. 

By showing your humility in a confident way towards them, you are offering them ideas, solutions or suggestions instead of standing up to them with a know-it-all attitude. You don’t need to be right in front of these people. It will only get worse than you think.


Don’t forget to vent your emotions after encountering or arguing with shameless people because you are a human being with emotions. You are not a wall that everyone or anyone can piss or throw a can or glass to break to vent their emotions. You could express your emotions to your co-workers, boss, friends or family members. You can even write a journal entry about every little detail of the event or situation.

Learn from the situation. Find out the things that you should have done if there’s anything that you need to improve so that the next time you encounter another shameless person, you will be able to handle them in the right way. Pray too that you won’t have to encounter another shameless person but it doesn’t really hurt to be prepared, right?

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Eleanor Wabe is the creator behind The Eleanor Journal, a digital platform of stories about personal growth, mental health, self-improvement, spiritual growth & self-care to help uplift your body, mind, soul, and heart.

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